Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
