East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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