id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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