i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
