whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize