Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize