YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
