We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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