we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
