I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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