It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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