love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
