I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
