Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
