that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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