And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
