someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
