i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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