so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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