Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize