I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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