I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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