someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
