I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
