When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
