i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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