So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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