oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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