I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
