he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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