I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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