Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
