I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
