Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
