When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
