Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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