I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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