Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
