I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
