I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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