I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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