You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
