Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
