Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
