don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
