We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
