Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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