I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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