Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
