What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
