singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
