Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
