I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
