I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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