i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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