Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
