I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
