bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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