How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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